不请楚

It is November again. Term One of Grade Ten is already over. There is no time for me to yell anymore. I originally planned to yell about how school has just started and how everything is unnecessary. Well I’m here now.

Time makes me mad. Time makes me sad. It makes me sad most of the time. Why is it that time goes on? Why can’t it slow down and wait for me? I can’t seem to hold on to what is going on. Everything at school seems so temporary. Whatever happens, only lasts for a little while and then we all move on. We linger on each chapter for 2 to 3 weeks and then we flip the page.

Studying is difficult. I shove all the information into my notebook (and hopefully my brain) and then show up to school the next day and face the test paper with an empty head. The moment I look down on the paper and closer at the questions the evening before’s study session flows in and I fill in the answers. I don’t know how I do it but — “WOW GLORIA YOU GOT AN A! OF COURSE, YOU DID; YOU’RE SMART!!”

Can I leave now?

It appears that I have become more… mopey compared to the last time I wrote. Is it because I learned a lot in English this year? The only thing I haven’t gotten down properly is the formation of proper sentences. And the depth of writing that is usually required for assignments. I have lots more to work on. Like a lot.

Well then, until next time! Hopefully next time I write about more entertaining happenings. Goodnight!

accompanied loneliness

–[Lonely] 씨스타–

I am late again. By another day. You know, I try to have at least two posts in one month, but for the past two months, I suck at remembering to write. Well, here we are in June. I really dislike how we are already in our last month of school. There are only 21 more days until school is out. However I still have many things to do. I still have to edit and print my English simile poem. My poem somehow turned depressing. Again. Just like my ‘I am From’ poems. I still have to study for my Socials test for next week, and then there is one more unit to cover. My Science is almost coming to an end. Art is wrapping up, Math is in the last project, and the other classes are just things I don’t exactly focus on, like French, P.E., and Home Ec. I have a skills test tomorrow in Home Ec. Well. I nearly forgot.

I guess I am really lonely, even though there are people around. I mean, if I tell my family or my one really close friend, they’ll go, ‘it’s okay, you still have us.’ But, really, I still have a sense of loneliness. I always look at people’s backs, so if I switch places with them and I can’t see their backs, I feel scared. But when I see their backs, I feel left behind if I don’t catch up. I really don’t get what I want.

There is a Sports Banquet for all the Spring and Summer sports teams. Sometime next week. There is a dress code. I dislike having a restriction even if it is to look semi-formal. I don’t like wearing dresses, so I guess I’ll wear something half casual, but a little more fancy, like some random thing hiding in the back of my closet that is not something I usually wear. If I can find something like that. My friend is worrying about it, but then again, it is our first fancy event since entering high school.

Tomorrow is another day of looking at people’s backs. I guess I should go sleep and get back up in the morning. Well then, goodnight! I mean, see ya!

flip

Heyy, I have neglected this for a while as I couldn’t find any thing to write about or even find the time and patience to write a whole post. I really haven’t done much. I did lots of school. I have a large test tomorrow for Socials Studies.

I have been thinking a lot recently. Am I afraid of being in the way of others achieving their goals? Am I being a pushover? I think I have accidentally become a pushover. People borrow my supplies all the time, ask to copy my homework, or to buy things (with the promise to pay me back). I mean, it’s not mean to me, it just makes me think, am I benefiting from my actions? I’ll… think about it over Summer Break, I don’t have time to think these days. Maybe I’ll find something, but for now, I will study. Well then, see you!

halfway through

It has been almost halfway through Summer Vacation. For me, I have started writing a fictional story (that I will probably throw away after), I have started those “Complete Canadian Curriculum” workbooks. The grade 8 one. I can do most of it. Well, whatever I have gotten to.

I have been spending most of my days with my younger brother. Sometimes I wonder if I am even being a “good” sister. I probably am doing some things wrong. Maybe because I’m stupid. Maybe it’s because I’m Gloria. I have done some really weird thinking. Lots of weird thoughts that progress strangely. Maybe I should think more about my actions. Will that make me smarter? Probably not. But, some more thinking might be required for me to come to a solution.

How come I keep having negative thoughts? Well, not really negative, I guess. But, it seems to me that, most of the time, I can’t seem to make up my mind about anything. I keep waiting for things to change on their own. Especially when it comes to myself. I feel that I don’t even know what it takes to be myself. Not what it takes, but what it is. See? I don’t even know what I am talking about. Well, I should really do some thinking so that people don’t just call me stupid, or ‘dumbass’. Until I figure myself out! See ya.

what if i didn’t write

Yeah. There is this speech contest all Grade Sevens have to do and the topic is always super broad, and this year, the topic is… ‘What if…?’ And that is where the title of this post. My teacher said it kind of has to be about a problem in the world that you think you could change. Not really a problem. Just… something that’s realistic and probably possible. When I told my sister about the topic and what my teacher told me, she was like, “What if nothing was impossible?” And we just had this weird moment like… woahh…. Unintentionally deep words.
I have no idea if a topic like that worked. Now, I am back at square one. I’m stuck, again. I have like… 4 ideas. For the speech. FOUR!!! Waargh.

For like an hour, I was with my brother playing with the educational computer games that my sister used to play with me when I was little. It was kind of frustrating when you try to teach your little sibling something about money and then the game uses AMERICAN money, and then you don’t know what you’re doing because you don’t recognize it. I’m Canadian. I don’t really recognize American coins. Only pennies because it has a distinct colour from the rest of the coins there. Pennies aren’t used anymore. Aww. I still have a large stash of pennies. A lot being over 100 pennies. One dollar worth of pennies and more! Yeah!

I’m getting off track. And I still don’t know what to write about… ‘What if we used American currency?” Nah. ‘What if we all used metric measurements?’ I DUNNO. I should search for real world problems. I want to find something different!!

Summer Resolutions

Okay, so I got this idea from my sister, Grace, and, uh, it is basically a list of things i kind of want to achieve over the Summer. So, uhm, HERE IT IS!

1) Write something acceptable…
2) Learn to do something cool
3) Improve my table tennis skills
4) Find my inner creativity
5) Look at things differently (and not copy so much)
6) Read books
7) Ignore put downs
8) Just be more positive
9) Improve grammar … ?
10) Draw more often (to let that creativity goooo)
11) Try to be mature
12) Pay more attention………..

See? I can see a lot of flaws in myself. I still have more. But, since I am turning 12 this year, I’ll just stop at 12. I have another one: write neater. SEEEEEEEEE??? okay…
Well then, I need to go. It is 9:30-ish. See ya next time!!!