the weather these days is quite hot. i think it is a heat wave and it is only simmering down tomorrow. i’ve been meaning to go out to run an errand but it has been too hot to leave the house. i also have not taken my old chair apart because it is way too hot in my room. we have air conditioning in the living room now (since a major weather event a few years ago) and i refuse to leave the house if it is above 30 degrees outside. i’m truly spoiled by technology. the other day, my siblings and i got tired of playing mahjong because we had to shuffle and set up the game physically. we have been playing mahjong online these days and now we are pampered by the game technology’s ability to shuffle and organize our hands for us. to be honest, we weren’t actually tired–we were more bored because we were playing mahjong with only the three of us and it can get repetitive when we are the only ones playing. as we like to say, the more the merrier…

to switch the topic suddenly, i am having to plan for my future in more concrete terms these days. i am graduating next year and i need to figure some short-term career moves. “moves” as in Actions. i need to start taking some physical steps in order to get some real work experience and i also need to budget properly. i’ve been meaning to budget properly from the start of my degree, but as i am entering my final year i realize that that really hasn’t happened. i need to start getting my thoughts together. i feel a need to sort myself out and find my place in this world, even if it’s a small part.

for the rest of the summer, i will be looking at some part-time work to do in the next year or more, planning a visit to my grandfather, and preparing for my final year of university. great fun! well then, here’s to actually finding a part-time job and getting good grades next school term.

I guess now would be a good time to reflect on 2023 and make some more tangible goals for 2024. Lots of things happened in the past 365 days. I finished my second year of university, played a lot of table tennis in the States, did some summer school, worked a summer job, went to visit my grandpa for the first time in about six years, started my third year of university, and made some progress in my mental health after experiencing Quite The Dip. Here’s a list-form summary of my 2023:

1. 1. JAN: started collecting cute figurines for no reason other than to collect dust and make me mildly content with the cuteness, went on two dates, worked part-time during my second semester, went to Seattle to play table tennis. Overall mood: great time!
   2. FEB: did lots of table tennis-ing, friend outings, went to San Diego to play table tennis! Overall mood: lots of table tennis fun!
   3. MAR: watched lots of table tennis and continued practicing, fun sibling time, and Dad’s b-day! Overall mood: great!
   4. APR: even more table tennis, went to Round Rock, Texas for nationals, experienced true sleep deprivation, outing with Mom, brother’s b-day! Overall mood: happy and ended the school term with ease.
   5. MAY: summer break started, went on a date, played lots of games with my siblings, sticker collecting with friends, haircut and got a tea-coloured streak, started summer job + two courses, lots of outings with friends and siblings! Overall mood: sweaty but happy.
   6. JUN: continued summer job and courses, more sibling and friend outings, and my sister’s b-day! Overall mood: still very content… but also started thinking about the possibility of law school (so some self-caused pressure).
   7. JUL: night market outing with friends, brother took some table tennis lessons for fun, celebrated a friend’s b-day, and an IKEA outing with the family. Overall mood: fun times and bringing in some money (yay)!
   8. AUG: finishing up my summer courses and job, Pride Parade, more friend outings, visited my grandpa (!!!) with my mom and brother, played mahjong with my grandpa, and did the first donut sale of the season for the table tennis team. Overall mood: lots of feelings after visiting my grandpa (happy, sad, grateful, content, nostalgic, proud).
   9. SEP: talked a lot on the first day of school in order to advertise the table tennis team and almost lost my voice, ice cream outing with my siblings, got another short haircut, neighbour’s carport roof fell thanks to an Amazon truck, caught a cold, ran table tennis tryouts, went to a concert (!!), and watched movies with my sister. Overall mood: fun fun fun (at the cost of not organizing my school work).
   10. OCT:  Thanksgiving dinner was Great, turned 20, bought a bunny headband for my brother’s Halloween costume and a sheep headband for myself, went to many lectures, held table tennis practices, and went with my sister to take my brother and his friends out trick-or-treating. Overall mood: felt busy but content, feeling a slight downhill in terms of my brain.
   11. NOV: midterms, went to Oregon for table tennis (by train, which was a new experience), watched my brother play volleyball, more table tennis events, and a close family friend passed away. Overall mood: frustration at self and Select Others, and really struggled with keeping organized and motivated.
   12. DEC: warm weather for winter (so no snow, only rain or clouds), saw my family doctor and made Christmas lights and tree setting up, went to a funeral, had many deadlines for final papers extended, completed two final exams, Mom’s b-day, made gingerbread houses with my family, Christmas day was very fun and happy. Overall mood: went from very unmotivated and sad –> slightly motivated to finish everything, much more content after school ended and I spent more time with my family.

So I’ve done a lot in 2023. Up next in 2024: finish year three without losing my brain! I have a lot of life planning to do this year as I go into my fourth, and possibly final, year of university. Some big decisions coming up. For now, my New Year’s Resolutions will look like this:

1. 1. Spend up to 2 hours on Social Media a day.
   2. Read 2 books a term (outside of readings from classes)
   3. Write one blog post a month!

I also realized that I didn’t write last January! So I have no resolutions to look back on here. I guess surviving the year is already a win for me. Anyway, I hope this year will go by with more memorable and happy events! Until next time 🙂

These days I’ve been doing a lot of housework. My parents went to San Francisco for about a week and came back feeling unwell. They got COVID-19 and they stayed in their room for about ten days until they felt better and tested negative twice. My sister and I were pretty much on our own for about a month. I went out three times to get groceries and my brother’s library books. It was kind of fun to be able to do whatever we wanted to do whenever. It wasn’t that fun to spray and wipe down the bathroom that we shared with our parents while they were sick every night. My sister and I were mostly concerned about my brother getting sick because he has something similar to asthma.

Sometimes I wonder if I ever got sick. Like throughout the entire pandemic, I haven’t gotten sick at all. I haven’t even gotten a cold since 2019. I feel like the next time I get sick, I will be hit hard. So far, every time one of my family members get sick, I am the… main person to help out and yet I still do not get sick. Is this… youth? Just kidding. It’s probably related to how my immune system works and how often I exercise and go outside to expose myself to potential pathogens. Where was I going with this again? I just can’t tell if or when I get sick anymore.

It’s been a number of years since the pandemic began and it still feels new. I should have been prepared for my family members getting COVID-19, but I didn’t think that I could stay healthy even as we shared bathrooms and as I did COVID-positive dishes with disposable gloves and a mask on. What a time.

Some conclusions from the past few weeks:
1. I have some more confidence in cooking now.
2. I can handle at least two stressful events at one time.
3. I haven’t cried in a while. (I feel like it’s coming up soon)
4. I am probably more sympathetic than empathetic.
5. I do not know how to respond when people I care about are upset.

This past year, I learned a lot about my family and where I am situated within both sides. There’s not a whole lot for me, the second child of a youngest child and an only child, to do for either family. There’s nothing significant about my position. I’m not the oldest child, the youngest child, or a boy. There is no specific role for me to play other than a good kid.

Another thing that I have noticed this past year is the way I refer to myself in my thoughts and writing. I still believe that I am a child and that I am young enough to be underage. Of course, this is to be expected–I’m only 18. I’m still learning how to think like an adult. I’m still learning how to be like an adult. However, I don’t think there will be much of a difference between me now and me in 5-10 years.

Anyway, the conclusion is, what time I am having!

During the past month or so, I’ve completed my English course with a very high mark, finished part of the yearbook, and done well in my second course of the year. I feel like I’ve accomplished quite a bit. I also applied to universities and scholarships. So far, I’ve been rejected by a scholarship thing. It is one of the more competitive ones so I’m not surprised by this outcome. I would be more surprised if I was accepted.

Since it is Christmas, I should think more positively. My family and I got up at around 11am to open presents. That was pretty nice and fun because my brother was extremely pumped. He’s been pumped since… the beginning of December. Which is good, but he’s kind of annoying…

Anyway, I got a scarf, a tuque, some chocolates, a sweater, and a nice pen. Pretty solid stuff. 🙂 Now I can smell the lamb shank my dad is making. Smells great. Merry Christmas!

While opening some packaging, I got a paper (cardboard) cut. On three fingers, but only one bled. I’m very smart. Anyhow. I’m slightly worried that I will forget to bring something or I will bring too much or bring something I’m not supposed to bring. There are lots of things that I am thinking about these days, for no actual reason. Or maybe there is a reason, but I’m overthinking about it. Or perhaps it is not for me to worry about. But I’d like to help and not feel like a terrible person by not thinking about it. Oh well. I guess I’ll go with the flow again.

Stomachache. I feel like my appetite and ability to eat a lot has decreased this year. And the ability to digest. Or maybe I eat too much now. I don’t know but food is good and I eat either way. Instead of thinking about it, I just go with it until I feel uncomfortable or something like that. Going with the flow~.

Until next time… Maybe I’ll be elsewhere when I post again, or maybe I’ll be back from my trip!

There is a project upcoming in my Science class and I think that I’m going to be doing it on diabetes, its effects on the human body, how we counter/control it, and the current research. Through this idea, I will create a report and potentially a website to better display my ideas. Hopefully, my teacher approves of it and I can do this well.

I have to write another essay in English. For my first essay, I got 4/6. As many people do when they get curious, they ask me for my mark, which I don’t care whether or not others know. So I tell them, and their response is usually, “Oh, of course,” like they expected that I would get good marks. I really hate when people assume that I am smart. I have to put in a lot of effort to get those marks, only to have others say that I was only putting forth minimal amounts of effort. I do get satisfactory or barely-passing marks. Sometimes when I barely pass something and others find out, they are so surprised and they blame the teacher with some really absurd excuse. Usually, it is not the teacher’s fault.

I think my teachers this year are okay. I mean, they are great at what they do, but some scare me slightly. Some are… weird, but then again who is not weird? It’s getting late and I should probably sleep. Well then, until the next time, and I might write something creative later on!

Anyhow. There has been no work assigned which is great. All I have been doing in my classes is listen to expectations, what types of work we will be doing later, and how certain things are marked in the course. I took my first notes of the year yesterday in Law, which I personally find interesting. The problem is that I wrote my notes in pencil, so I should go over them in ink and make them look nicer. And highlight certain things. There are a few vocab words. I should also think about what I’m gonna write for in an intro assignment I have in a class I have on Monday. I’m going to be pretty preoccupied with many things I am thinking about.

I didn’t write in August for many reasons. I was just finishing summer school. I was helping my sister pack. I was taking a rest by watching many TV shows, reading books (although it was a bit above my understanding), and slacking off. My family and I went to Whistler for a week and we went to the new suspension bridge near the top of the mountain. I ate a lot. I walked a lot. My sister at the end of August, and my brother always brings up how things were more fun with the three of us, not just the two of us. Which kind of hurts. Lol.

Anyway, I really don’t know much so don’t ask me too much. Hahaha. Until next time!

My brother! Will be in grade 2. Man, I remember grade 2. That year was my last year at my elementary school before I moved to another elementary school. I may have seemed to others that I didn’t care about moving, or rather, they thought that I enjoyed it. Actually, I cried. A bit. Over my two best friends. Now, one is kind of distant from what I remembered her to be like, while the other, I haven’t seen since. She moved too, I heard. Social interactions give me headaches sometimes.

I take an online course that has something due every day and I don’t like to get ahead, so I start it the day before it is due, then finish and hand it in on the day it is due. Which is kind of low-key procrastination. But I don’t have the motivation to do more than one assignment per day. I don’t wanna do it. Anyway. It is getting late, so until next time. Hopefully I don’t skip a month. 🙂

I just blanked out for a really long time; I just stared at an empty page on the computer without doing anything. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I’ve done some work, for example my art. I should do some of my math, but, I’m too lazy right now. Maybe I’ll do it later. I also have table tennis practice later. That means I should hurry up and do some work.

It’s almost Father’s Day. I don’t really talk about my family a lot. I’m not even sure if they read my blog, because if they do, I shouldn’t write what I feel about them on a public website like this. Typing is fun, but you know, safety first. I should make a Father’s Day card. Well, I’ll do that instead of my math project, just to feel a little more productive.

See ya!

My cousin is coming back to live with my family for a while today. I helped set up his sleeping area. It’s not really a room, it’s just a spot in the basement. Gabey has been quite excited. Right, I did all that today since I don’t have any school today. It’s a Goal Day. Grace had an AP exam today, so she should be  done by now. I’ve been working on my Science. We have to do a demo and explain how it works, why it works, and how it is applied in real life. For the other two days, I worked on and finished my Social Studies and English. In Socials we were working on the Protestant Reformation. This unit is quite interesting as I am a Catholic, and even though I heard of the other branches of Christianity, I never really figured out why some of them are there. I mean, I never actually went out there on purpose to figure it out. :)) In English, we are writing and analyzing poems. I’m not really good at poems, but I kind of have to raise my mark in this course to get an A. Ugghhh.

For now, I will work on my Science, and do what I usually do. Until I write again. See ya!