With regards to table tennis: I went to most practices, played more tournaments with the team (both locally and in America), and even got my brother started in taking lessons. As a team at Nationals, our women’s got 7th and coed got 5th! It was a lot of fun being able to travel to places like Seattle, San Diego, and Round Rock for tournaments after not travelling further than Toronto these past few years. It was definitely a fun experience as a second-year student-athlete that was also a member of the executive team–I was also sort of responsible for the team. I learned a lot about dealing with a team of people and how I should approach certain kinds of team members. Not only did I learn a lot about table tennis and tournaments, but I also learned a lot about interpersonal communication.

My school grades were consistent throughout the year. Although I struggled with deadlines (as per usual), I was able to achieve ‘A’s and ‘B’s. I actually got mostly ‘A’s! I didn’t even notice. Even though I am not an A+ student, I can get some pretty good grades. My ability to attain good grades is the source of some of my largest headaches. It doesn’t matter when the assignment is due or what the assignment is; I always wait until the last minute to finish it.

Now, I don’t have as much pressure to put in the effort to get organized and get work done ahead of time to make sure I have time to double-check because my next ‘step’ in life is not something that is set in stone. I think I let too many people know things about me. I haven’t really changed too much since I was little. When I was a little kid, I always wanted to tell people what I did, what I was doing, and what I wanted to do. As I got older, I still do that, but in a more roundabout way.

There’s more that I want to say, but I’ll stop here for now. I think I’ll end up going in circles with an abstract idea if I kept going! Until next time.

Last year, I made 3 resolutions. Let’s see how they’ve gone:

1. Stay on task. Close other tabs when there is a deadline. Resist the urge to check the phone.
   • This is hard to measure, but I have done everything on time and I don’t think I’ve had any issues with getting an assignment completed. I may have procrastinated a few times, but I still left enough time for my work to be completed and to be of good quality.
2. Exercise certain areas at least twice a week.
   • Why did I word this in this way? Basically, I think I meant that I wanted to stay in shape. Well, due to the pandemic, I stopped having practice every week and I stopped walking around at school. I’m still relatively in shape (I actually lost a bit of weight but I think that was all muscle mass) but of course, there are areas of improvement.
3. Clean my room and desk regularly.
   • I actually did this one recently! I kept my desk clean most of the time. Last week, I moved all my stuff to my bedroom instead of where I was before. So everything is tidy as of right now.

Solid. I’ve done them all and I should continue to work hard to maintain these habits.

A lot happened in 2020. I did a lot of work last year. I did well in my grade 11 year so I’m very proud of myself. My first class of grade 12 also went by pretty well. I plan on continuing to do my best for my work and hopefully, I do not burn out or get super sad again. I like to watch dramas to stop worrying about stuff so I think I’ll be fine. I recently watched something really good with my sister so we will be okay for now. I applied to universities and for scholarships so I hope I hear back from them soon. I keep checking to see if they have finished with my application or something but I think I’m thinking too much about it. I should focus on finishing grade 12 first!

Anyway. It’s 2021, so that means I graduate high school this year. I should be able to get through that alright. I kind of want to go on a grad trip during the summer but who knows what the world will be like then. Who knows if anyone will want to go anywhere with me (other than a family trip, maybe having a friend trip will be fun, I don’t know). I will make some small goals for this year:

1. Do well in the rest of my classes and do my best in every class.
2. Focus on myself. Do what I want to do.
3. Be tidy and keep being organized. Sleep and get up earlier.

That’s about it. I hope I make better memories this year and that I get through it well. Until next time!

During the past month or so, I’ve completed my English course with a very high mark, finished part of the yearbook, and done well in my second course of the year. I feel like I’ve accomplished quite a bit. I also applied to universities and scholarships. So far, I’ve been rejected by a scholarship thing. It is one of the more competitive ones so I’m not surprised by this outcome. I would be more surprised if I was accepted.

Since it is Christmas, I should think more positively. My family and I got up at around 11am to open presents. That was pretty nice and fun because my brother was extremely pumped. He’s been pumped since… the beginning of December. Which is good, but he’s kind of annoying…

Anyway, I got a scarf, a tuque, some chocolates, a sweater, and a nice pen. Pretty solid stuff. 🙂 Now I can smell the lamb shank my dad is making. Smells great. Merry Christmas!

I think I’m giving myself more pressure than there actually should be. A lot of my assignments have flexible due dates so it doesn’t matter if I hand it in late. I just dislike how the text turns red when something is past due. I cram my homework in on one day because I sleep in and procrastinate. Honestly, my sleep and work schedule needs some tweaking.

Schoolwork is very boring. There is only one class I am a bit interested in and I have completed my work for it. All my other classes are academic and not much fun. I want to do something fun and more engaging than what I am doing currently. I understand that I shouldn’t go outside right now but I kind of want to. The weather seems nice, although there was a hailstorm yesterday after a large shower of rain. Aside from that, it’s been sunny and there was a weather forecast that said to expect the temperatures to go up.

I go through a cycle of sleeping in, doing homework, playing games, doing more homework, and staying up late playing games or cramming in the work that I had pushed to the side to play games earlier in the day. I’m working on changing that but it’s too comfortable when I wake up in the afternoon. I’m going to need more self-control.

Well then, until next time. Hopefully things will get better soon.

As the year goes on, more and more bad things are coming up. Maybe I am just starting to realize that the only things that are news-worthy and help news companies make money are reports about events that threaten the well-being of the readers. Articles with headlines that draw people in with adjectives that seem to make the situation worse than it actually is, is causing some worries in my area.

Anyhow, I’m trying to focus my worries on my future. I get depressed when reading the news. I get depressed when I think about course selection. I guess I don’t have a lot to be happy for right now. I spend my spare time, or time while procrastinating, watching random dramas that are more exciting than my life right now. Perhaps it is more interesting than my entire life.

1. January: I was still in grade ten. I was adjusting to the fact that I was in grade ten and 15 years old. I sent my sister had flown back in December and left during this month back to Toronto. I had skipped school that day to send her off with my dad. People cried. I didn’t, just a single tear that didn’t even fall 🙂 . School proceeded.
2. February: Snow! It snowed a bit and school continued. Our table tennis team won third place in the provincial championship.
3. March: Spring began. I got lots of allergies to the pollen and grass. My dad’s birthday! And spring break, where I went on lots of walks.
4. April: More spring allergies. My brother turned 8! That’s how old I was when he was born. So weird. I am my brother’s age multiplied by two. My brother also did his First Communion. A day before his birthday.
5. May: My sister finished her first year of university and came back for her summer vacation. My brother’s school held a fair and we went together.
6. June: I was finishing up grade ten. I went outside on walks a lot with my sister and the family. My sister flew to Shanghai before us during this month. School finished up very well! I finally got a good report card (straight A). I did a provincial exam and got a very good mark.
7. July: I went to the Richmond Night Market for the first time with friends. Now it seems sort of funny how some things turn out. I went to Shanghai around the end of the month. Lots of mosquitos. Very hot. Every day was a workout. Lots of restaurants. Lots of taxis. Lots of QR codes. Lots of worrying. Lots of practicing my Shanghainese and Mandarin.
8. August: We went to Taipei for a week. This stay was extended by around three days because of some typhoons. We had to switch hotels once. I would like to visit Taipei another time. It’s a very nice and clean place to be. People are nice there too. We went back to Shanghai after and we celebrated my paternal grandfather’s 90th birthday. I got to wear a fancy purple dress. I organized a slideshow of pictures to play at the restaurant. I used my terrible Mandarin to communicate with a guy at the restaurant to help me set it up. I almost forgot I went to karaoke with my siblings and cousins. And we had hot pot with them. Lots of fun. On the last day, we had to visit my grandfather in the hospital. Lots of thinking was done.
9. September: Slept lots until school started. Grade 11. Schedule was great. Except they messed up a class and didn’t fix it until I went to find them and still had to wait an hour for my counsellor to show up and get to me. My friends are in two of my classes. That’s nice. I get to see them every day. Which makes the class more fun! Sometime near the end of this month, I made some people unhappy and that has led to a more awkward relationship with them. I don’t know whose fault it is. I like to think it’s not mine.
10. October: I turned 16! Fall. School was well underway. I started thinking about why I have friends. I cried once during this month. Weather turned a little bit depressing.
11. November: Lots of tests and crying over procrastination. Lots of think-thank-thonk. Felt bad because my English mark was very low. Also, I don’t really understand my teacher. Oh well. That’s something to work on this year.
12. December: Lots of studying went down to bring my math mark back up after being roasted by my teacher. Lots of studying in bio to make sure I wasn’t failing too badly. I’m not even failing any classes, yet I still fail myself a lot of the time. Haha. : )

And now, it’s 2020. One more year until high school graduation. By the end of this year, I will have to have made up my mind. I need to choose a university to go to. I need to choose a Thing that I want to do. But I still don’t know. : ) I guess I’ll figure it out later.

I hope this year is better. I hope this decade is better. I hope things get better. Somehow. I hope I get better. At stuff. : ) Happy New Year!

2020 . 0101

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The end of Grade 10 is approaching in only two weeks. I have four more tests to write this year. I have one more project to complete. Things are really wrapping up now. This year passed very uneventfully. However, I still learned a lot. I learned more about myself. I think more. At least I like to think that I do. I formed more opinions about myself and the world. I matured, mentally. Not completely, but I have improved since last year.

Improvement. And of course, I realize that every year is an improvement from the previous. I just think that this school year, I improved more than in other years. Like other years, it has passed. Like other years, I have passed (my classes). Unlike other years, I made friends. Unlike other years, I did it by myself.

I’m still working on some things. I’m working on finishing this school year on a good note. I’m working on myself. I’m getting there. Hopefully, I figure something out about myself. “Who am I?” — those kinds of things.

“Disguising is one way to hide from others.”
– taken out of my English Portfolio