the weather these days is quite hot. i think it is a heat wave and it is only simmering down tomorrow. i’ve been meaning to go out to run an errand but it has been too hot to leave the house. i also have not taken my old chair apart because it is way too hot in my room. we have air conditioning in the living room now (since a major weather event a few years ago) and i refuse to leave the house if it is above 30 degrees outside. i’m truly spoiled by technology. the other day, my siblings and i got tired of playing mahjong because we had to shuffle and set up the game physically. we have been playing mahjong online these days and now we are pampered by the game technology’s ability to shuffle and organize our hands for us. to be honest, we weren’t actually tired–we were more bored because we were playing mahjong with only the three of us and it can get repetitive when we are the only ones playing. as we like to say, the more the merrier…

to switch the topic suddenly, i am having to plan for my future in more concrete terms these days. i am graduating next year and i need to figure some short-term career moves. “moves” as in Actions. i need to start taking some physical steps in order to get some real work experience and i also need to budget properly. i’ve been meaning to budget properly from the start of my degree, but as i am entering my final year i realize that that really hasn’t happened. i need to start getting my thoughts together. i feel a need to sort myself out and find my place in this world, even if it’s a small part.

for the rest of the summer, i will be looking at some part-time work to do in the next year or more, planning a visit to my grandfather, and preparing for my final year of university. great fun! well then, here’s to actually finding a part-time job and getting good grades next school term.

Every day I spend more than 2 hours on social media. I haven’t read a single book since the term started and ended. I also have not been writing on this blog! Although I haven’t been living by my resolutions for this year, I have completed my third year of university successfully! I took 9 courses this past school year and took 4 of those courses in this past term. I was able to get some pretty good grades (aside from one course… but that’s okay!!!). My grade average hasn’t taken a huge hit but it didn’t go any higher. I’m content and I’m proud to have done pretty well despite going through a few things this past (school) year. In the first term during the winter of last year, I was really having a hard time handling schoolwork, life experiences, and my own health. Going into the second term earlier this year, I kind of came to terms with how I would get my schoolwork done, with life experiences, and with the fact that I am not, in fact, the world’s most average man.

I went through all of high school thinking that I was the most average and boring person to exist. I had Good Health, Good Grades, did One Sport (and was above-average Good at it), and had a Good Family. Turns out:

• • My physical health is pretty good (despite random food sensitivities to tree nuts and such + spring allergies + bad cough everytime I get a cold) and I have ADHD (WIP: trying to figure out myself)
  • My grades are still Good: maintaining a B+/A- average takes skill too
  • Table tennis is fun but competitions might not be for me
  • Every family has their own issues and although my direct family is pretty close-knit, we are still individuals who have their own beliefs and opinions that may differ from the rest of the family.

Anyhow, this past school year I learned a lot about myself, my family, and life. Life is very short even if you make it past 80, 90 years old. There is only so much time in one’s life when you are healthy and energized. You also don’t know when you will pass away! That’s not very reassuring but we don’t have any control over the inevitable end. What we can control is what we do in the present. With this in mind, I suppose I will take more initiative with my activities. I often “let” or “allow” things to happen. I suppose it is time for me to actually “get” to things and “do” them.

I’m going to have to end this blog post on a lighter note! This coming summer, I will be looking at the present and near future. I will be taking two summer courses and then looking for a part-time job. I will be doing my best to be organized, thoughtful, and proactive. Here’s to doing my best to stay afloat!

I guess now would be a good time to reflect on 2023 and make some more tangible goals for 2024. Lots of things happened in the past 365 days. I finished my second year of university, played a lot of table tennis in the States, did some summer school, worked a summer job, went to visit my grandpa for the first time in about six years, started my third year of university, and made some progress in my mental health after experiencing Quite The Dip. Here’s a list-form summary of my 2023:

1. 1. JAN: started collecting cute figurines for no reason other than to collect dust and make me mildly content with the cuteness, went on two dates, worked part-time during my second semester, went to Seattle to play table tennis. Overall mood: great time!
   2. FEB: did lots of table tennis-ing, friend outings, went to San Diego to play table tennis! Overall mood: lots of table tennis fun!
   3. MAR: watched lots of table tennis and continued practicing, fun sibling time, and Dad’s b-day! Overall mood: great!
   4. APR: even more table tennis, went to Round Rock, Texas for nationals, experienced true sleep deprivation, outing with Mom, brother’s b-day! Overall mood: happy and ended the school term with ease.
   5. MAY: summer break started, went on a date, played lots of games with my siblings, sticker collecting with friends, haircut and got a tea-coloured streak, started summer job + two courses, lots of outings with friends and siblings! Overall mood: sweaty but happy.
   6. JUN: continued summer job and courses, more sibling and friend outings, and my sister’s b-day! Overall mood: still very content… but also started thinking about the possibility of law school (so some self-caused pressure).
   7. JUL: night market outing with friends, brother took some table tennis lessons for fun, celebrated a friend’s b-day, and an IKEA outing with the family. Overall mood: fun times and bringing in some money (yay)!
   8. AUG: finishing up my summer courses and job, Pride Parade, more friend outings, visited my grandpa (!!!) with my mom and brother, played mahjong with my grandpa, and did the first donut sale of the season for the table tennis team. Overall mood: lots of feelings after visiting my grandpa (happy, sad, grateful, content, nostalgic, proud).
   9. SEP: talked a lot on the first day of school in order to advertise the table tennis team and almost lost my voice, ice cream outing with my siblings, got another short haircut, neighbour’s carport roof fell thanks to an Amazon truck, caught a cold, ran table tennis tryouts, went to a concert (!!), and watched movies with my sister. Overall mood: fun fun fun (at the cost of not organizing my school work).
   10. OCT:  Thanksgiving dinner was Great, turned 20, bought a bunny headband for my brother’s Halloween costume and a sheep headband for myself, went to many lectures, held table tennis practices, and went with my sister to take my brother and his friends out trick-or-treating. Overall mood: felt busy but content, feeling a slight downhill in terms of my brain.
   11. NOV: midterms, went to Oregon for table tennis (by train, which was a new experience), watched my brother play volleyball, more table tennis events, and a close family friend passed away. Overall mood: frustration at self and Select Others, and really struggled with keeping organized and motivated.
   12. DEC: warm weather for winter (so no snow, only rain or clouds), saw my family doctor and made Christmas lights and tree setting up, went to a funeral, had many deadlines for final papers extended, completed two final exams, Mom’s b-day, made gingerbread houses with my family, Christmas day was very fun and happy. Overall mood: went from very unmotivated and sad –> slightly motivated to finish everything, much more content after school ended and I spent more time with my family.

So I’ve done a lot in 2023. Up next in 2024: finish year three without losing my brain! I have a lot of life planning to do this year as I go into my fourth, and possibly final, year of university. Some big decisions coming up. For now, my New Year’s Resolutions will look like this:

1. 1. Spend up to 2 hours on Social Media a day.
   2. Read 2 books a term (outside of readings from classes)
   3. Write one blog post a month!

I also realized that I didn’t write last January! So I have no resolutions to look back on here. I guess surviving the year is already a win for me. Anyway, I hope this year will go by with more memorable and happy events! Until next time 🙂

With regards to table tennis: I went to most practices, played more tournaments with the team (both locally and in America), and even got my brother started in taking lessons. As a team at Nationals, our women’s got 7th and coed got 5th! It was a lot of fun being able to travel to places like Seattle, San Diego, and Round Rock for tournaments after not travelling further than Toronto these past few years. It was definitely a fun experience as a second-year student-athlete that was also a member of the executive team–I was also sort of responsible for the team. I learned a lot about dealing with a team of people and how I should approach certain kinds of team members. Not only did I learn a lot about table tennis and tournaments, but I also learned a lot about interpersonal communication.

My school grades were consistent throughout the year. Although I struggled with deadlines (as per usual), I was able to achieve ‘A’s and ‘B’s. I actually got mostly ‘A’s! I didn’t even notice. Even though I am not an A+ student, I can get some pretty good grades. My ability to attain good grades is the source of some of my largest headaches. It doesn’t matter when the assignment is due or what the assignment is; I always wait until the last minute to finish it.

Now, I don’t have as much pressure to put in the effort to get organized and get work done ahead of time to make sure I have time to double-check because my next ‘step’ in life is not something that is set in stone. I think I let too many people know things about me. I haven’t really changed too much since I was little. When I was a little kid, I always wanted to tell people what I did, what I was doing, and what I wanted to do. As I got older, I still do that, but in a more roundabout way.

There’s more that I want to say, but I’ll stop here for now. I think I’ll end up going in circles with an abstract idea if I kept going! Until next time.

This semester I am taking 5 courses: 4 in-person and one distance learning course that is asynchronous and online. There is a lot of work but it is manageable for now. Studying time has definitely been impacted because of the number of courses I am taking. However, that is not the only reason. I am on the table tennis team again and I took on an executive position as the Marketing and Communications Officer (which I started doing this summer actually). I also got a very casual job on campus where I only work about 2 hours a week. The 2 hours are conveniently in between my classes, so I’m not wasting time commuting.

The main downsides of my arrangement this semester is that I come home pretty late at night and I am physically tired a lot of the time. Hopefully I can build my muscles back from table tennis soon. I had two practices this week for the first time and multiple muscles are sore. It is also midterm season! I had three midterms and two quizzes already in the past two weeks. I have a term paper due this week and a midterm next week. There is definitely a lot to keep track of.

Enough about school (although I will probably end up talking about it again later). October! My birthday month. To be honest, October has had a pretty good start to it for me. In early October, I went to a concert with my sister for an artist that we both listen to and enjoy. It was pretty fun but it was a more cozy type of concert with no seats. It’s currently mid-October and I have been pretty busy with school and table tennis. Something weird is that the weather has been consistently warm and dry, well into what we all expected was going to be the fall season. It hasn’t rained in ages and the sun is on full blast all the time.

I guess this is nice though. I am enjoying myself for now! Until next time

These days I’ve been doing a lot of housework. My parents went to San Francisco for about a week and came back feeling unwell. They got COVID-19 and they stayed in their room for about ten days until they felt better and tested negative twice. My sister and I were pretty much on our own for about a month. I went out three times to get groceries and my brother’s library books. It was kind of fun to be able to do whatever we wanted to do whenever. It wasn’t that fun to spray and wipe down the bathroom that we shared with our parents while they were sick every night. My sister and I were mostly concerned about my brother getting sick because he has something similar to asthma.

Sometimes I wonder if I ever got sick. Like throughout the entire pandemic, I haven’t gotten sick at all. I haven’t even gotten a cold since 2019. I feel like the next time I get sick, I will be hit hard. So far, every time one of my family members get sick, I am the… main person to help out and yet I still do not get sick. Is this… youth? Just kidding. It’s probably related to how my immune system works and how often I exercise and go outside to expose myself to potential pathogens. Where was I going with this again? I just can’t tell if or when I get sick anymore.

It’s been a number of years since the pandemic began and it still feels new. I should have been prepared for my family members getting COVID-19, but I didn’t think that I could stay healthy even as we shared bathrooms and as I did COVID-positive dishes with disposable gloves and a mask on. What a time.

Some conclusions from the past few weeks:
1. I have some more confidence in cooking now.
2. I can handle at least two stressful events at one time.
3. I haven’t cried in a while. (I feel like it’s coming up soon)
4. I am probably more sympathetic than empathetic.
5. I do not know how to respond when people I care about are upset.

This past year, I learned a lot about my family and where I am situated within both sides. There’s not a whole lot for me, the second child of a youngest child and an only child, to do for either family. There’s nothing significant about my position. I’m not the oldest child, the youngest child, or a boy. There is no specific role for me to play other than a good kid.

Another thing that I have noticed this past year is the way I refer to myself in my thoughts and writing. I still believe that I am a child and that I am young enough to be underage. Of course, this is to be expected–I’m only 18. I’m still learning how to think like an adult. I’m still learning how to be like an adult. However, I don’t think there will be much of a difference between me now and me in 5-10 years.

Anyway, the conclusion is, what time I am having!

Now, my sister and I have been back for some time now and I feel like time is passing too quickly and that I have to be more active. I should look for part-time jobs or at least some volunteer opportunities. I have one opportunity for late August and I have one summer course in July/August, but other than that, there is nothing else for me to do. I should plan more things for me to do. I think I will apply for a few part-time jobs this summer so I can work throughout the year.

Anyway, I want to go over my first year of university and… reflect month-by-month. Just kidding, I’ll just split it into the two semesters.

Semester One: September-December 2021
I signed up for 5 courses but I dropped one after the first class so I ended up taking 4 courses for the first semester. I took a political science course, an anthropology course, a sociology course, and a mandatory writing course. I tried out and got on the table tennis team. I went to practices after classes and made a friend. I wrote papers and did midterms and final exams for the first time. My final marks were all above the class average! This gave me a self-esteem boost and told me that I could survive the first year at least. I don’t actually remember a lot about what I did. I remember getting lost on the first day, but I was only ten minutes late to two of my classes. By the second and third day, I was able to navigate the relevant areas of the campus. I really enjoyed the hybrid delivery of lectures for most of my courses. Most of the exams during this semester were online.

Semester Two: January-April 2022
I took a full course load this past semester (5 courses). I took another political science course, another sociology course, an archaeology course, a GRSJ (Gender, Race, and Social Justice) course, and a psychology course. The political science course, although interesting as it was new material to me, was boring to me. The professor was very nice and explained things very clearly and made lectures interesting but I just don’t think this area is for me. The exams during this time were mostly in person but there were a few that were online. My marks during this semester were pretty high and I got higher than the average in all my classes again. Pretty proud of my marks. I’m no genius, but I can get a B and occasionally some As.

Complete Overview: Summer Vacation Time 2022
As a result of doing pretty well during my first year of university, I feel like I deserve a bit of a break. There was a lot of adjusting, learning, stressing, planning, and cramming. At first, I stuck to what I knew in high school and studied for midterms and tests as they came in my direction (AKA around 2-3 days ahead of time, all the way until the day of the exam) and doing assignments as the deadlines approached. This… style of working worked for my first semester because I was taking 4 courses at the time. But when the second semester began, I had to account for all the material for 5 courses at the time. It really made me wonder how I survived high school with 8 concurrent courses (the work was easier but nontheless).

There was a brief period of time (around midterm season in the second semester) where I felt like I was really in a bad place. I had multiple large assignments due and there were some heavily-weighted midterms coming up. There was a lot of information for me to have memorized in those two weeks. My brain was a bit overwhelmed at the time so I decided to reorganize myself before it got worse. I ended up getting through those two weeks alright and then quickly reorganized myself over the weekend by actually using my planner and sticky notes and over the weekend, I caught up on small assignments. After that, and leading up to final exam season, I maintained that strategy and organized the coming week’s to-do list over the weekend and then followed it almost religiously. It worked pretty well and I got some good marks!

Anyway, over this summer I plan on looking over the LSAT and decide whether or not I want to take it next year. In addition to that, I will be coaching some table tennis at my local club to make some small bucks and in August I will have another short-term job with my school for first-yeat orientation day/week. I think I will get a part-time job within the next 365 days. Okay, that’s more like a goal. We all have to start somewhere!

With that, I will end this post here. I learned a lot this past school year and I hope my new learning strategy works next year with slightly higher-level courses. Until next time!

I’m pretty swamped. Compared to last semester, I’m definitely more busy and tired. I’m also trying my best to space my assignments out, but due to travel plans, I’ve squished some together so I end up scheduling multiple things a day. There is also the self-brought pressure of wanting to do well in classes. Doing well will be defined as a B or up. However, if I end up getting a C+ in a class (something that I am prepared for… in one of my classes), it should be fine. Although it will impact my GPA, I am only in my first year. I should be able to make up for it in later years. Right!

The reason why I am so swamped this semester is probably because I am taking 5 courses instead of 4. Although this is only one more course than before, I have to memorize a lot of things for at least 3 of my classes. They are either term-based memorization or theory-based. Either way, there are constantly a lot of words swimming through my eyes and into my brain and probably back out because I can hardly remember.

I actually meant to write at least once a month, but… there are lots of things to be done. I have to do my taxes soon. I want to get to driving lessons, but I will probably have to postpone it my another year. I’ll get lessons first! That may occur this summer if the driving schools I’m looking at have an okay waitlist. Speaking of waitlists… I am waitlisted for a summer session course. I am also waitlisted for a job opportunity at my school, but it’s okay, I got an offer for a smaller role. I won’t be making a lot, but any money is nice! I’ve never had a job before… To be fair, this opportunity is more similar to a volunteer position, but it’s all-day and there’s a goo amount of training involved so it makes sense.

Anyhow, I am extremely tired and tomorrow is another long day. Bedtime for me then :))

Now onto the main topic. Today is the first day of 2022! A lot happened last year: I got into universities, got scholarships, graduated from high school, survived a heat dome, survived intense rainstorms, completed the first semester of university, and most importantly, I survived the year without getting sick. Hopefully I (and my family) can continue to be healthy and avoid getting sick. Sometimes I wonder when this will all be over but at the same time, I can’t seem to remember what it was like before the pandemic. I distinctly remember my last day of school before the pandemic and some of my thoughts–I was in  my high school’s yearbook room and was talking to one of my classmates about school going on an indefinite break after the Spring Break. We were making some predictions of what was going to happen in the next few weeks. Who knew it was going to go this far? Who knew that part of this upcoming semester was going to be fully online?

To be honest, I don’t have a preference yet, whether or not a class is in-person or online. It is fun to have in-person classes to see all the different people in my classes and people-watch, essentially. Online classes are a bit more convenient because I can sit in the library if I can’t make it to the classroom on time. Or, if the weather is bad, I can stay at home. Discussion classes probably work better in person. Considering how awkward the in-person session was, I think going online will only make it worse because it is even harder to pick up on social cues and when it would be a suitable time to talk without interrupting someone and it would prolong the silence and lead us nowhere.

Anyhow, I will be working on making this year better than the previous. There a few things that have to be done this year, including attending my sister’s graduation events, learning how to drive, finish year one and declare a major and minor (hopefully), and improving my studying skills. I have some new resolutions for 2022, so here we go:

1. 1. Make study plans and schedule out assignments.
   2. Learn how to drive.
   3. Keep track of finances.

Although some seem broad, I have more detailed notes to myself of how to achieve them. It’s good to set goals but it is also important to write down the steps to achieving them. At least for me 🙂

This post was very difficult for me to complete and it took me a few weeks to write this so this post is a bit all over the place. I don’t know why it took me so long and so many tries to do this, but I guess I am taking this break a little too seriously. I’m going to be hanging out with a university friend tomorrow, which I’ve never done before. We are being cautious though and only sticking to local places so it’s relatively safe, pandemic-wise. Hope all will be well soon. Happy New Year!

I don’t know how I got here. Every month, I take a whole day off to wallow in my thoughts. It’s quite interesting. I have managed to make no progress on a specific issue for about a year and a half. I am still stuck on an issue from 18 months ago. Is a year not enough? Apparently not. While I may not be off the deep end, what is concerning to me is the number of times I think about it in a week. I feel like it’s a bit dumb. It’s annoying and I don’t know what to do about it. I think i may need another 18 months to figure it out.

Aside from a personal problem, I think I’m doing alright. I am passing my courses so far. I think so, and I hope so. I hope I will do well enough on my final exams so that I can achieve a solid B. I’m not gonna go for As, if I manage to do well enough to get an A, that would be great. If I don’t get an A, that’s fine too. As long as I pass this semester, it will be fine.

Jumping a bit back to the intro; it’s December! Which means Christmastime, gifts, snow (more like more rain actually), and lights. I don’t know what I’m going to be doing this year that will make it different from previous years. In fact, I’m pretty sure nothing will be different from previous years. It will just be a quiet family thing. It will all be fine and I will be okay and functioning. That is the hope. I hope all will be well.