Gloria's Blog

you do know what that means, right? hopefully. well, then let’s get a move on with that. i have a low self-esteem. i just can’t seem to type or write something that will be accepted into society as “good”. i look at my friends and they have something always better than me. what can i do? study? work damn hard? those are obvious. but no matter how much more i study, they are always better than me. ‘maybe you aren’t learning anything from studying’, ‘maybe you’re studying wrong’, ‘maybe you’re just not cut out for this’, ‘maybe you’re naturally like this, you can’t absorb information’, ‘you’re just plain stupid’. yes. yes. yes! it’s oneself’s fault. always.

so if i go like this in front of those friends, i foolishly chose to compare myself to, they don’t understand. it’s because i think too much?!?! maybe. but it’s completely true. they get asked to do cool things. they get these opportunities offered to them because they are ‘qualified’ as humans. they have connections, and that’s all that is getting them around in this ‘living’ thing that is going on for these mammals we call ourselves. homo sapiens sapiens are supposed to be the smart ones, right? no? oh, alright, i get it. the ones that “look” qualified are “probably” not? i just really want to swear really loudly right now. but i can’t. i’ll look like a “fool”.

damn it. this is what i get for helping my friends beat up people for them. since they are “helpless” when it comes to “power”. right? because of all this i have always been very hesitant when it comes to making friends. i can’t make friends until they approach me first. but the first friend i made at my new school 3 years ago now hates me because she betrayed me. not really. she hates me for always being with the friends i am with now. so why am i telling this out to the world? i want to complain. i want to yell. i want to beat someone up. so what good will this do? it won’t do anything. what will change after this? nothing. maybe i’ll feel slightly relieved. maybe if i play some great catchy songs on repeat.

what am i gonna write next? i don’t know. i don’t where this is heading. but this very fun and satisfying. i can now do something i think i am good at. yep, it’s called ranting to myself. and whomever would bother themselves to read this blurb of crap. this post has a problem. but no verdict. oh well. what am i gonna do with my “creativity”? my friends all agree that all i’m worth is beating boys up that annoy them. sure, i’m tall. sure, i run pretty fast. sure, i can talk back at them quickly. sure, do i look that frightening. i hope not. some people forget that i am the same as them. i still have emotions. i can cry. i can get really mad to the verge of crying. i can really like something. i can “feel”.

nobody i know will see this anyways and change the way people see me. i don’t care. okay, maybe i do care. i’m probably just over-thinking it. well, would you look at that. i am crying as i type this. great. wonderful. absolutely perfect. just as planned.

LOOK YOU BASTARDS OUT THERE. I HAVE FREAKIN’ FEELINGS, ALRIGHT? YOU ALMIGHTY LOADS OF CRAP, YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL, AND HONOURED TO HAVE ME WRITE OVER 500 WORDS ABOUT WHAT YOU PEOPLE SAY AND DO TO ME. YOU DRIVE ME UP A WALL AND LEAVE ME TO CRASH DOWN ON THE OTHER SIDE. HOW WONDERFUL AND NICE OF YOU. NOW LET ME STOP CAPS LOCK.

that was very refreshing. now let me push you off a bridge.

Heeeyy! Today I did the Gauss Math Contest!! It was pretty complicated. I know that i got at least two questions wrong. It was like the first thing in the morning.
Math + Mornings + Gloria = Error_TRY AGAIN LATER
So yeah. I ain’t great in the morning. But today I woke up an hour earlier for the sake of waking up in time to be fully conscious. Ain’t that just DANDY?

ANYWAYs, I know. The title has very little meaning to anything here. But, eh, ya know, as the years go by, and you start using up the names for the blogging and then you’re like, what should today’s title be and then you have absolutely no idea and then you go, never mind let’s not do this blog post because I don’t have a damn title, and you’re lost when you don’t have a title, because then you can’t find that certain post unless it has a bunch of numbers or empty space. And it is the only one of it’s kind. Woah. That was kind of long. I should really go rant somewhere else.

Well then, I’ll get going on that. See ya later!!

Anyways. That was quite a rant. 409 words per rant, hey? IT’S EASTER! Right?
So, I feel like I should do something productive, but later, I have to go for my PING PONG LESSONS!! Later. So how am I supposed to do something productive in such a short time period!!! Damn. so many things I want to do but I ain’t got the chance and time. Hopefully I don’t start another rant from here. Then I’ll stop here. Eheh. It was supposed to be a normal update blog post, but, it seems to take too much time. So, uh, I’ll get going… See ya!

Heeyyy. I just read my friend’s speech for the grade 7 speech contest subject. And now, I have no self esteem. WHY?? Because all of my friends are able to do things and are widely liked (not like I would want to be liked by such people), and they get the opportunity to do cool things they ACTUALLY want to do. In my case, I don’t have much of a good reputation. My friends (?) actually like me because I can stand up to people whom are being stupid and annoying. A lot people like me for the things I do that sometimes get me into trouble. Like, what’s so good about standing up to someone and then getting into trouble for what measures I take to make sure I get them back fully in the face?
I don’t get to show my true potential of doing things because no one seems to believe I can. So my friends are the daughter of someone you know. So you give her chance at something with HER CLOSEST FRIEND. Cool beans! So I’m just this Chinese girl that beats boys (and girls and children of ALL AGES) up FOR NO APPARENT REASON. Nope. Actually I do have some problem with stupid people. I will not tolerate. Unless they’re cute (jkjk). I do have reasons for what I do. When I’m mad at someone I WILL get them back. If you know me, I WILL. For sure.
Because I beat SOME people up for a very GOOD and passable reason, AND I’m a girl, I don’t get to do the COOL stuff my popular friends do. Now, why did I put the word POPULAR in there? Because they are, and I’m not quite jealous. ‘If they’re popular, LET’S GIVE THEM SOME REALLY NICE OPPORTUNITIES AT DOING REALLY COOL ARTSY THINGS AND MATH COMPETITIONS AND WRITING COMPETITIONS!’ –uhh, NO.

So all the things I do that make me Gloria, make me a person to avoid. To avoid talking to, to avoid giving chances to. Unless you are a person that gives EVERYONE chances (in that case, you’re a great person). I’m tired. Tired of what? Ranting about things. Things that are irrelevant to you. So why bother? But then again, I’m not really asking for attention. It’s just the things I do for people sometimes. I regret beating people up for other people who can’t.

I

GIVE

UP!!!!!

I dunno anymore. I have a scratch on my…a-little-lower-than-my-ankle-but-not-yet-my-foot. It only hurts of it is up against something like by long socks. So I put a band-aid on it so it won’t hurt as much. Ehehhe. Today I had Track practice. I feel like I am not quite good enough. I don’t do very well under pressure.
This Thursday I’m going on a field trip!!! Yaaaay. I haven’t been on one since grade 4. WHY? Because last year was messed up and we weren’t allowed to due to the lockout of the teachers.

Okay… so I didn’t update with a short story last time. I think I got carried away by playing some games. Oh… WHOOOPS. I’m getting slightly off track. And slightly bored. I’m gonna play some Candy Crush. Adios.

Oh. I’m back on schedule. Would ya look at that! My desk is messy with the weirdest contents on it, and I have my Math and Science and my Socials in front of me and only my Socials are finished. I am currently finishing my Science. And once I finish that Science, I shall get started on my Math. And then I may update with a short story. Just to get my imagination in motion. Also, I should study for the Gauss test. I may be doing it. Eheh… …
I just realized that I enjoy doing my SCHOOL homework more than HOME homework that parents like to give to their children in case they have too much free time on their hands. Anyways I should be getting this Science done… But my arms are avoiding it, putting it past it and typing this post I meant to have up, like two days ago.  Damn.
I’m being school active this year!!! How? I joined the Track team, and am currently debating on whether I want to go to the dance club or not. My friend wants me to go with her. She wants me to go with her because she ain’t got the dance experience, I don’t either, and she ain’t wanna be alone in this dance business. I can perform a dance, but, the process is really long. And, if you know me, I’m lazy. Really. So, I’m gonna have a go at persuading myself to do something about this matter.

ANAYWAYSSSS. I’m gonna have to finish my homework and study early. So BYE BYE!